I finally dusted off the old blog and decided to write an entry today. It has been on my mind along with 10,000 other things of what I would like to do one of these days. Last year I was reflecting on the tragedy in Boston and how we need to love more than we fight. In so many ways that intention rings true in my daily life and not just on a grand scale like terrorist attacks and war. Today I have a 6 month old baby. She is my everything: tells me when I need to wake up, when I can shower, eat, sleep, when she needs to eat or wants to play, when she is bored or when she is upset and needs comforting. And as much as that can drive a person crazy to be depended upon 24/7, it also makes me love her more. In the beginning, and still on some days, I was so conflicted by this change–who was I now? I hardly knew before she came along and now it’s like my head exploded. All I could see was this little person demanding all of my attention and sparing none for myself. But the more I fell in love with her the more I realized I do these things out of love for her. Instead of fighting the gremlin I had to love her.
Now that she is six months old I feel the shock and awe just starting to wear off. It is like I am coming out of anesthesia and can see the lights. Okay. I am still here, I have two cats named Adam and Simon, I like to sew and listen to music and watch DWTS. I like to wear other clothes besides yoga pants and sweatshirts. I have family and friends who I like to talk with on the phone and books that I would like to read. I have yummy foods that I like to eat. I will make time to do these things because I love myself, and at the end of the day I am the only person responsible for that job.